I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
