ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
