Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
