I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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