i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
