oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
