I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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