He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
