I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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