That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
