I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
