i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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