Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
