When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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