AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
do nipples grow back?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
