I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
