even my farts smell like vagina
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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