Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize