i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's blow job season.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
