I think I died a long time ago.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
