I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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