You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize