Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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