AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
