Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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