Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
