you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize