i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
