I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
