I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
