I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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