We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
