You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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