try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
