Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
