And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
