I think I died a long time ago.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
