and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
