No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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