You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
