there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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