quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
