Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
