Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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