My Higher Power is John Stamos
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
