you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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