Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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