In America we eat man semen.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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