So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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