Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
