dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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