I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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