I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's blow job season.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
