Non-Jews are for practice
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
