How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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