why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
