a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
