that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
