is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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