Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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