youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize